Saturday, February 16, 2008

In Lindsay-Lohanesque Rehab or Jack Bauer Rescue Me or Have You Ever Eaten a Hazelnut?

Do you know how every celeb worth their salt has done a stint in rehab? A spokesman announces that he or she has retreated to a rehab center in the Arizona dessert to deal with his or her issues. Well, here I am in Cyprus, doing just that. Well granted that LL is both truly talented and truly messed up, and I am neither. (Don't give me a hard time on this -- have you seen -- truly seen -- Freaky Friday?) And also let me grant that this is a hotel and not a rehab center. And also let it be said that I'm not any kind of addict because I don't want my parents to start thinking that about me...

Well, Mom, Dad, I am an Internet addict. I picked this hotel because it had (was supposed to have) wifi. When I arrived last night I found out it did not. I threw a fit. A bottled fit. This morning I did my best impression of a very busy, very important person who just has to work (I'm "working" now), and they upgraded me to a suite with a hardline. It is offseason after all. Other than me, one romanticish couple, and one couple with a baby, there is no one else here. In this hotel. In this town. On this island. (Other than the natives, who seem to hide.)

When facing the bleak prospect of an Internets free weekend, I took some consolation that I had remembered to pack the remaining 3 DVDs of 24 Season 3 that I have not yet seen.* So I figured worst case, it would be a veg out weekend. Fortunately, things have turned for the better. I trundled down the road to some very beautiful mosaics. On the way back stopped in at the market and bought two bottles screw-top wine and two bottles of water (notice how mature I am - wine and water in equal proportions, even at lunch).

After a burst of sun, it is cloudy, but (I live in London and laugh in the face of clouds and) am looking at the sea. I think I'll actually do some work now (for 15 or 20 minutes).

Then I'll lie in my bed, and wait for Jack to rescue me.



P.S. Have you ever eaten a hazelnut? I feel a little bit silly, like one of those people who doesn't understand that tomato sauce comes from tomatoes rather than a tube, but today for the first time I ate a hazelnut. Now I have had hazelnut ice cream (fave), hazelnut chocolate, and even (hate to confess this) hazelnut coffee (in my defense, it was the late 80s, and back then we thought these things were sophisticated). But never had I had a hazelnut until this morning. And you know, it tastes like a hazelnut!

* I see you shaking your head, saying to yourself, "Poor BB..." Then this vision bifurcates. In one, version you say, "Nutters, truly off the rails". In the other, you say, "Used to have better taste." Then to both I reply meekly that I also brought Hana-Bi and Wild Strawberries. In the first, you reinterate, "Nutters, truly nutters." In the second, you just shake your head sadly as though watching someone spread a layer of caviar on wonderbread.


Doc said...

I didn't think so before, but after your post, I'm convinced. Nutters. Truly.

In case you're taking applicants for manager let me know.


Anonymous said...

It has been a while. But, I am worried about the hassle and the nuts. Do the latter fall from the Cyprus trees? Does the former go away on the Island? I wish you a nice unplugged journey.

Lola Is Beauty said...

are you still in cyprus? is it nice? why are you there? are you relaxing? why cyprus? so many questions...

Bombay Beauty said...

Agenta - you pose a good question - they were in fact hasselfreenuts, the best variety.

LIB - Why Cyprus? I wish I had a good answer to that question. For the first two days it was obvious, but after it started snowing I was less certain...


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